Writers Bootcamp Day 3: One of my greatest fears

I’ve already had one of my greatest fears realised and (obviously) lived. And, equally obviously,  I fear for the safety and wellbeing of my family. So I won’t go into the typical stuff.

When I first saw the topic for this post, I thought to myself that there isn’t really anything that keeps me up at night or that I worry about every day. But on digging a bit deeper, it dawned on me just now that I am terrified of never being more, because I am a master of self sabotage.

I was a bright kid and excelled at school without really trying. I auditioned and got into an arts school but ended up leaving after a boy a year and a bit later. I had the opportunity and means after school to attend university but never completed my degree. I’ve landed some awesome jobs over the years, despite a lack of qualifications but haven’t made a career of anything.  I had/have potential but I lack the discipline and consistency to follow through on anything important. I make impulsive, emotional decisions and I quit projects at the first sign of anything resembling hard work. And I am often astounded that other people don’t see this the moment they meet me. 

And the one thing I am most afraid of in all the world is that I’ll always be this. Always be a flake. 

 

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