If I’d been any good at heeding advice, I might be in a very different place today, so asking me what the best advice is that I’ve ever received or heard is perhaps a little bit daft.
Still, some useful nuggets of wisdom have stuck with me – or, rather, lay battered and bruised in the corners until my own stupidity has forced me into said corners to nurse my wounds. That’s where I’d usually find some blackened, dog-eared, scarred and bloodied lump which, when prodded, wouldn’t bite. Instead, it might growl at me intimidatingly and bark something like “I fuckin’ told you so, you dumb shit!” And then we’d suss each other out for a bit until recognition set in and I’d inevitably reach the conclusion that this previously discarded piece of good advice is actually my friend.
Here are the most oft consulted of them:
1. If you have to change who you are in order for them to love/like you, they will never really love/like you.
2. If he’s worth fighting over, you’ll never have to.
3. Don’t get involved in other people’s fights.
4. When speaking of others, say only that which you’d be willing to say to their face.
5. A gossip is likely to tell others the same kind of things about you as what he/she is currently telling you about someone else who’s not there to defend him/herself.
6. Wear sunscreen.
7. Don’t party on a school night; Drink at least one glass of water for every 2 alcoholic drinks; Hangovers get nastier and last longer the older you get.
I’m sure there are many more that I’ve forgotten. That’s okay – I’m bound to bump into them again along the way. And in all probability, they’ll be waiting with the kettle on.