Writers Bootcamp Day 9: Pinings

The other day, a song I hadn’t heard for probably close to 20 years was played on the radio, taking me back instantly to a time I haven’t visited in what seems like a lifetime.

I’ve actually been getting a lot of that lately. Probably because, when I’m not blogging these #writersbootcampZA posts, I’m writing about things in the past. My past.

Sometimes, a face from a certain time will flash in my mind and open up doors to chambers and boxes that have been sealed these many years. It’s happening more and more now, because I’ve chosen to open some of them up myself and look inside.

It’s funny how I find myself longing for someone else who was there, to remember it with me, even though they were not my friends. Not really, anyway. It’s another one of those things about growing up in a crappy situation; Your friends are chosen for you by the circumstances you find yourself in. Like the ugly girl in a small town who’s got the whole town’s boys chasing after her, because she’s pretty much the only eligible girl in town.

But then, the right combination of melody and lyrics has always been able to transport me to faraway times and places, and make me miss people I’ve never even met. And much of the music of my childhood is like that. There was a passion in music writing in the last three or four decades of the 1900’s that seems to have been lost in the Noughties…

So I long. I long for songs that make my mind tumble down the rabbit hole; I long for the people I imagine my fellow inmates at the Leeudoringstad reform school became; I long for the girl I used to be, for her drive and determination and spirit; I long for my father, who will never know his grandchildren; I long for the right words – the write words – with a longing more clear to me and more desperate in the seeking as I complete more and more of these bootcamp posts…

It may serve me well, this longing, in time. It may take me back to a place in myself where the words are free and I am unfiltered, unrestrained in my expression of things. Until then, here comes the next bootcamp post…


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